One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn this last year is that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help. You can’t give love to someone who won’t receive love. You can’t feed someone who won’t eat. The old saying, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”, was shown to me in full force. If someone doesn’t hunger and thirst after righteousness, you can’t make it happen. It’s all about choice.
They “say” they want help, but their actions aren’t showing they are really hungry and thirsty for righteousness. They want their "lives" to change, but they don’t want to change. They want their "circumstances" to change, but they don’t want to change. They aren’t devouring the Word and hearing those that God has sent into their lives to help them. They won’t “receive” encouragement. They won’t “receive” love. They definitely won’t “receive” correction and instruction in righteousness.
My Bible tells me the only way to change or be transformed is by the renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2), by the washing of the water of the Word (Ephesians 5:26). When you see transformation in someone’s life, you know that they are washing with the Word. Their mind is being transformed. Therefore, their lives are being transformed.
Matthew 25:34-40 tells us we are to clothe, feed, and house those who need help. He will bless us for that. But He also tells us, if they claim to be His child, there are expectations of behavior. They must show His fruit and grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. There comes a time to release.
The Holy Spirit showed me in the Word how Jesus handled these situations. The Prodigal Son wasn’t chased down by the Father. The Father had to wait for him to return after “he came to himself”. Had someone been there all the time to rescue that boy out of the pigpen and kept bailing him out, he would have remained too comfortable to make a change. Sometimes we get in God’s way and do the same.
Acts 17:26-27 says: 26And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation; 27That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us:
God knows the “place” or what the bounds of our habitation needs to be that will cause us to seek after Him. One version says He puts us in a place, or land, or boundary to cause us to “grope” for Him as in desperation. Let’s stay out of God’s way.
Jesus shared His love and truth. If they didn’t “hear” Him, He shook the dust from His feet and went on. People who came “to” Him because they wanted healing and deliverance were healed and delivered. If someone says they want it but don’t come to Him, don’t grope for Him, aren’t hungry for Him, aren’t desperate for Him………it won’t happen.
It’s very heartbreaking when you can see the potential in someone, yet they desire to stay in that place of comfort and complacency. It’s very heartbreaking when you see the pain that Jesus wants to heal, and they won’t let you in to help. It’s so difficult to watch someone self-destruct by the words of their mouth, knowing that they will have to reap what they are sowing. It’s so difficult to know they are rebelling against God’s authority and those He put in authority, because they have to reap what they sowed. Galatians 6:7 – “Be not deceived. God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man sows that shall he also reap”.
There comes a time that you have to let them go. They have to learn hard lessons. We get in the way of God’s work so many times. There are so many times that Christians “rescue”, thinking they are doing the right thing. However, many times the “mercy” gift isn’t really in operation. It is compassion, but not Spirit-led. Many times mercy and compassion doesn’t “look like” mercy and compassion. Real mercy is shown by letting God bring them to a place that will cause them to seek after Him and become desperate for Him. If we step in and give them comfort and solve all their problems, their comfort will negate the desperateness for Him.
Pray before you act. Wait to hear direction before you act. Get wise, Godly counsel before you act. If you really care, you will get out of God’s way. It brings us back to the Jonah situation. Sometimes someone has to be thrown overboard to save the ship. (Read my blog on Jonah).
